Realizing change…

A fellow artist, Rebecca Paul, asked this question “What is one memory from your childhood home?”

My initial reaction to the question was to ignore it, thankfully I know better.  When I detect that I’m running from my past, I tend to stop and try to figure out why.  This desire came from a conversation I was having with my sons, when after a lot of prodding, they learned a small bit about my past and this was their emphatic response, “you have to find the good in your life, it’s not OK for you to think there wasn’t any good when you were a kid, there has to be”. 

Those words have driven change. 

That’s why I stopped what I was doing and wrote this answer to Rebecca’s question: We moved a lot when I was young, so I wasn’t attached to the home.  But there was one where we lived next to the beach.  I couldn’t wait to get home, and my sister would walk with me, and I could spend the entire evening playing and waiting for the sunset.  I loved it.

I am always surprised when I find something good about my past.  It shows me that I am changing, I am becoming better and have a desire to be a positive and happy person.  I feel like a cliché writing that.  Honestly, learning to think positively has been challenging.  It didn’t come easily.  I don’t know if you’ve experienced this too, but creating this behavior took effort. 

 I also think it’s hard to realize the changes I’ve made.  There’s no way to measure or quantify it.  It’s questions like this one that make me realize it, and I am grateful for this moment so I can feel appreciative.

Realizing change is a beautiful thing.

(Question came from Rebecca Paul, her IG and Facebook @rebeccapaulstudio, please look at her work, it is breathtaking.)